Plisse les yeux ou gonfle les joues.

Plus d'un an après avoir envisagé d'apprendre la Langue des Signes Française, je m'y suis mis.

Tous les lundi, de cette semaine à fin mai sauf pendant les vacances scolaires. 2h15.Au total 60h de cours. Nous sommes 13 grands débutants, de 18 ou 20 ans jusqu'à probablement 50-55 ans, avec une proportion féminine intéressante.

13 personnes assises sur des chaises en demi cercle autour du tableau, attendant que le formateur arrive. Quelques unes papotent, alors que les autres gèrent l'anxiété du premier cours. Le formateur arrive, écrit son nom sur le tableau, en petit et n'importe ou. Puis il se retourne, nous invite par gestes à se positionner en cercle, et commence des assouplissements des mains, en nous invitant à l'imiter toujours par gestes. Premières difficultés pour "lire" ses mains et reproduire les séquences de gestes. On sent tout le monde concentré, et on n'entend encore rien. Quelques exercices d'assouplissement du visage aussi, et on se rassoit. Martin écrit les premiers mots au tableau et les mime. Ordinateur, téléphone portable, téléphone fixe, fax, internet. J'aime beaucoup internet, le geste symbolise très bien les connexions qui débutent d'un point de la terre pour aboutir de l'autre coté.
Puis une présentation de comment appeler un sourd. Eteindre puis rallumer rapidement la lumière, taper par terre ou sur la table en utilisant les vibrations transmises, lui taper doucement sur l'épaule, ou lui envoyer une petite boulette de papier. On rigole un bon coup quand il fait non de la tête en faisant semblant d'envoyer un tabouret à travers la pièce. A part ça on entend toujours rien. L'exercice suivant, très interactif nous permet d'apprendre de nouveaux mots, cravate, chemise, pantalon, jupe et minijupe, chaussettes, bottes, chapeau, bonnet, robe.
Puis, au bout d'une heure, Martin nous propose un break (geste facile à comprendre, il suffit de mimer qu'on casse (break pour les anglais) une brindille). Un grand bol d'air et on observe une discussion enflammée entre notre formateur et un autre sourd. Il y a encore du chemin!! En tout cas, on en profite pour faire un peu connaissance, papoter un peu plus, et organiser un covoiturage pour retourner sur le centre de Toulouse, inaccessible à ces heures là depuis le lieu de formation.
Au retour, de nouveaux gestes liés à l'école, école, classeur, gomme, règle, cahier et probablement d'autres qu'il faudra que je révise d'ici lundi prochain. Puis un travail sur la taille. Chaque objet ayant un geste associé, sa taille est donnée par l'expression du visage. Plisse les yeux si c'est petit, gonfle les joues si c'est gros. Si c'est vraiment gros, gonfle vraiment les joues. Je trouve ça tellement sain d'utiliser son visage de façon officielle pour communiquer que j'y prends un grand plaisir. Certains ont plus de retenue que moi, ou un visage moins élastique. Encore plusieurs autres exercices pour faire travailler son imagination (une grosse sphère n'a pas du tout le même geste qu'une sphère de la taille d'un pamplemousse ou qu'une de la taille d'une balle de golf. Après tout, comme on est là pour mimer, on peut même mimer les objets à taille réelle. Pasque le mot pamplemousse est peut être plus grand qu'orange, mais entre pastèque et cochonnet... Et on n'entend toujours rien.

Vient la fin du court, on s'auto congratule un petit peu en signant "bravo" et on se quitte après quelques recommandations sur la politesse avec les sourds (pas la peine de demander pardon pour dépasser, par contre taper sur l'épaule peut aider, par exemple). Et Martin ne réagit pas quand on le remercie à haute voix. Normal, il est réellement sourd-muet.

vivement lundi prochain!

Change of colour. Picture gone.

Yeah, black is nice, but now is the right time for a change of mood. And my photo's gone. Damn Photobucket. Gotta find a new pic. And store it intelligently.

Un très bon moment

Moi, et monsieur bébé. J'aurais des photos avec mademoiselle fillette sa soeur, sauf qu'il me faut au moins mes deux mains pour jouer avec elle, et que je ne sais toujours pas manipuler mon téléphone avec la langue.

Je note que l'autoportrait sur un téléphone à écran tactile est une science approximative. Je ne trouve le bouton qu'une fois sur trois, et le cadrage est instinctif. Et malgré tout, j'ai capturé ce moment ci:

Some more news!

More than a month since the last update. This might actually be my sweet spot, from 4 to 6 weeks. At least, it feels about right. I don't really have that much to report in fact. Work's going OK, not-work is going OK too. We had family in Toulouse this week end, which was nice. A couple of restaurants and two afternoons at the park watching kids exercise on the playground. It actually got me thinking.

See, this playground is divided in two areas, one for really young ones, and one for older ones, from 4 to 10 or so. the main things it teaches kids is risk and responsibilities. Platforms are way more than 2 meters in the air, there are no panels to protect anyone from falling, just a few bars. The bridge between those platforms is high enough that an adult can walk beneath it with its arms raised without touching it, and it's made of steel bars spaced far enough to fall through it. A cash cow for any proper lawyer in the US. How did it look in France? Kids were playing in groups, climbing and descending, crossing bridges, jumping up and down everywhere while the parents were busy chatting on the benches around with nary an eye on their offspring. We watched for 2 or 3 hours, and the worst thing that happened actually happened on the ground when a child tripped and fell on the grass. We're not doomed as a society when parents let their children try and fail and fall, and when those children try and learn what they're capable of and what they're not. Let's see how much longer this'll last before kids are told to wear helmets when going on a walk.

And in the other good news, I've taken an extended week end to go to Paris. Two more days at work, then a 5-days week end. I'll be spending 4 nights there in a cheapo hotel, with a shared bathroom and probably shared toilets too. But it's got free wifi, and it's quite close to Republique and my favourite brunch spot. That plus the shopping spree I'm anticipating, and the friends I'll see. It's gonna be awesome!!

I shall set you free.

iPhone is jailbroken.

I lost my iPod some time ago. Plus it was an old generation. Colour, video (never used that, mind you), but no touchscreen, no wifi/3G. And lower than an antique Creative on the coolness scale. So I bought meself a 32GB 3GS, in black. Received it today round noon. It's got video, and a frigging compass. And copy-paste. Oh by the way, that manipulation is awkward.
I've already downloaded a huge number of free stuff, and removed most of it. I've kept Doom (after jaibreaking it), EveryTrail, the public transport timetables and TV. I'll probably never play Doom, but it's still cooler than the iSaber or the PhoneFart. And it's not on the Appstore!!
The only current PITA is the whole Linux and Apple do NOT talk to each other situation. Which means, I've got to switch to Vista to run iTunes.
I'm now looking for some more software: a remote control for VLC and Rhythmbox (and the PS3), a good ebook reader that accepts open formats and comics, and a spreadsheet tool. All of those free. And a Willi Waller 2006 Simulator.

It also means I'm hard to reach on my cellphone until August 17th. Having switched provider (Byebye red, Hello turquoise, blue and orange), my number is being "portabilitated" until then and so I have a temporary number.

Classical music

Always going back to it, no matter what, it's always there.
Vivaldi's Summer Allegro, Bach's Suites for Cello, Beethoven's Pastoral, Greensleeves... Even a touch of Ravel or some Renaissance or Medieval compositions.
Either a heresy or a tribute, Metallica's Symphonic & Metallic, transcended through a classical orchestral formation.

stricken up

I had a moment yesterday morning. The day before was the forst really hot day in Toulouse this year. 29° by 9PM. It felt good. I always feel better when the weather is too hot for most people. I revive. So I had a good evening, finally feeling that my time had come. As usual, I had a book for the bus trip to Toulouse center. "Cessez d'être gentil, soyez vrai". It's all about how we need to listen to our emotions, our basic needs, and then express them and fulfill them. I'm starting at the start: " listening "in".
Yesterday, I came to work in a positive mood. I had had some clarifications about a colleague who was removed from the team because he didn't do any effort to improve where he was lacking. Which meant I'm was not going to be removed. The weather was warm at 7AM, 20°. Before I entered the bus, I saw a rainbow, and decided it was something beautiful and that I would enjoy it. During the bus ride it started to rain, the light, warm, almost comforting summer rain. And again, I decided that I would enjoy it. Which I did, even when I had to get off the bus. On the bridge that I cross to go to work, I watched the control tower that reminds me why I do the job I do. I gazed at the sky, with the simple happiness of knowing I do the job I want to do. The sky was filled with different layers of clouds, from white to grey, with lots of contrast. Behind me, a heavy uniform sky of grey clouds. Still behind me, on the horizon, there was this unusual light as if the source of the light was the clouds themselves, as if it wasn't quite natural and wasn't artifical either. And in front of me, this perfect skyscape, some white patches on a darker background. And a patch of blue, small enough to be nothing more than an element of a painting, big enough to "be" there. Like a ray of hope. Like the element that told me that my life is mostly cloudy white, often cloudy grey, but that no matter what there is a patch of happiness waiting for the right conditions to show up. That even if work is tough, even if I don't see my important people as much as I want to, even if I'm not even who I want to be, I'm still a happy man and life is good. I allowed myself to bask in this feeling for a few seconds, until my heart swelled with contentment. I could feel mt body tensing up with the emotion and the sensation of tears welling up in my throat. Truly, I was stricken "up".
For once, I also decided that I would cherish this emotion and carry it to work, and use it, and show it, and try to share it. Which meant that I talked with many people, socialized. I also gave my best to help a colleague who felt panicky because she was conducting a meeting on a subject she thinks she doesn't master. I never gave her the empathy she needed, but at least I stopped myself before telling her things that would have comforted me more than her (you know more than you think, it's not that bad, just get over it). It also means I left early for the sake of it, and for the pleasure of buying a new pair of rather well cut linen pants, and a raspberry-coloured linen shirt.

I'm happy with who I am, I'm happy with the road I walk, and sometimes just deciding to see the bright side helps a lot. And sometimes, one needs a lot more or can't even decide to see that side.

Update!!!

The answer was: my brain preferences.
Big on imagination and concepts (yellow), pretty adept at rational thinking (blue) and emotional perception (red). Highly emotional under stress. And I seriously hate planning and organizing stuff (green), including my thoughts. No really, all of that and so much more.

Ce qui explique que je n'écrit que par impulsion, que je ne relis jamais ce que j'écris, que je ne prépare jamais un plan, que je parle de moi et de ce que je ressent. Et si vous ne comprenez pas toujours tout, dites vous que moi non plus.

Un peu d'explications: suite à plusieurs formations liées au développement personnel ces derniers mois, je me suis penché un peu plus sur qui j'étais et qui je suis. Comment je gère mon temps, mon stress, comment je communique, donc comment je pense et percois l'extérieur.

With further readings on such obscure subjects as authentic communication (also rubbishly kown as non violent communication), emotional intelligence and transactional analysis (not yet but soon?), I'm trying to reach a leaner, more honest me. Also a me that knows himself enough to give more place to others. I won't stop till I'm there, which means that I thankfully won't ever really stop.

In other news, I've taken a sudden and passionate interest (my usual me, yellow) in multitouch computer interfaces, with the goal of removing the awkward mouse and keyboard from the user-computer interaction because it's just not natural (red, emotionally driven statement). I've been reading intensively for several weeks on possible technologies, through forums and oters experiments (blue). And I've finally entered the testing phase. Namely, a webcam, a cardboard box, a piece of glass and three sheets of drafting paper. Actually, I'm testing myself to see if the interest will last long enough that I can invest in more material (blue thinking evaluating yellow).

Encore d'autres nouvelles:
multiplication soudaine de gamins parmi vous, j'adore :-D
recherche d'un nouvel appart' sur toulouse plus grand et mieux amménagé, histoire de pouvoir inviter.
Quand la connerie est institutionnelle, le futur sent l'oeuf moisi. Mon client ne sortira rien de bon tant que ses hautes sphères seront politiciennes, financières et centrées sur eux mêmes plutôt que techniques et ouvertes vers ses partenaires et clients.

Une seule conclusion possible:
Life is good.

update soon.

I'm yellow, red when pressed hard, and I don't get greens.
Care to guess?