Did I tell you December was my worst month?
Programme:
Tomorrow, December 5th: Sinterklaas, kinda family day for us. Intimate and non commercial version of Christmas. Truly a day to enjoy.
Dec, 20th: Birthday, I'll finally pass through my 25th anniversary
Dec, 23rd: Start of my holidays!!! After more than 8 months of continuous work
Dec24-25:Well, Christmas alright, you know the deal. We'll do that in little comitee again, parents, kids 5 people, not more.
Dec 28th: Lil Bro 1's birthday
Dec 29th or 30th: Dad's half century party in the family, not an event I truly look forward to, but an occasion and an event to celebrate
Dec31st-Jan 1st: new year celebration
9 days out of 30 will be "special".
And I'll feel as lonely as I will ever be. I just hate the whole partying... Hoy, Hoy, rejoice it's another special day to celebrate!!!
First, I don't want to celebrate, sorry, it's just not the mood.
Second, does that mean the other 300 days a year where nothing happen have no meaning? GFY they last at least as long, and am not gonna forget those.
Third, even with my family and my friends, on these so special days, you're lonely. Actually, I feel even more lonely, hovering above the room, looking at everyone else like they're enjoying it or faking it, and looking at me, faking it.
I sometimes think that I'd be better off not having such occasions to celebrate, forced happiness and the whole like. I'd gove me more freedom to celebrate the ordinary days. I used to open a bottle of champagne at the smallest occasion, when I was a student, for any party and for any reason. If I felt like it, I did.
I didn't need a real reason, accepted by the society as worthwile. I still don't, but I don't want to be forced to be happy cuz on a day it's christmas, and it's written that you must celebrate on christmas.
Oh, yeah, I usually am bitter during the whole month. Bear with it, I'll return to my usual self soon enough.
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2 commentaires:
I know exactly what you mean. I consciously make an effort to not open my Catcher in the Rye book during the holidays or I'll be spending it in my room wiht my shades drawn, cursing mankind.
You'll make it, though! Only a few more days till the month ends. Then there's one whole year to enjoy till the next December.
I sincerely wish you a Happy Birthday on the 20th though. I wish you get your Geomag. Or better yet, Geomag SA, as mentioned in your earlier post. First the society, next: the World. Yes! Tommpouce for President!!!
-kala
Hey kala :-) am already doing better (since I left work and until I go back there tomorrow :p) I got used to it anyway, it's just the wrong month. And I've got work to keep me busy (in a sort of "huh, get me outta here" way)
Tommpouce for President? Nah I'll be called the God of Modern Times (as defined in my official biography as starting on the day of my birth)
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