What it felt like

I've just found on my iPod the complete discography from Lacuna Coil. It brought back memories.

A few yers ago, I found an internship in Dassault Aviation, the famed (?) business aircraft manufacturer. I had the task of testing a new software to calculate the reliability of a critical system (understand if it fails, you die). Well, the system was provided by a canadian company and we already knew it was safe. So I could test the soft knowing that the consequences wouldn't be too high.
So that was my first real task, everything before that had been child play. Suddenly, I had to stop looking like a student and start looking like a proud employee of an elite firm. So I tried to snuggly fit myself in the mould of the perfect employee. Obviously, it was quite challenging. More than testing the software, that was almost a breeze.
Around that time also, my virtual little sister told me about that group she loved that was called Lacuna Coil. Imagine Evanescence, if they sounded good and not repetitive. What would be my introduction into goth music the same way that Nirvana and AC/DC got me into heavy metal.

After a few weeks of public transport in Paris (RER, metro, tram on the way to work, tram, metro, RER on the way back), I was going insane. 45 minutes of underground smelliness, stickiness and dishumanisation, I couldn't stand it. So, I bought a little MP3 player that could hold 128MB. Enough for 2 CDs and a half in acceptable quality, that I went to look for where all tech-savvy people go to.
So I got hold of the Lacuna Coil disco and downloaded their latest album on my player.

Comalies

my earphones were tied to a necklace, so I could carry the player in the breast pocket of my shirt, with no long wire hanging. I started listening to it in the transports. And I loved it, it really brought that barrier between me and the sheeps. I felt I was not like them anymore, I was back as I. Easy to see that I was actually turning even more like them, shutting myself from the external world. But hey, I was at least feeling better.

And I listened to good music, not too commercial and certainly not yet mainstream. I listened loud, for 3 purposes:

• Public transport=super loud. Blast loudness with even more loudness
• I simply loved the music and it just begs to be listened to loud
• You people, you can hear I listen to that music, this is one space you won't get from me, this is my freedom, and I'm not like you

After another few weeks, I got stuck against a wall while modeling my system. Fundamentally, the two could not work together. It was as if the software could handle only 1s and 0s, while my system produced 1s, 0s, and everything in between. At this point, I just concentrate harder and find the hole in the wall or blast it.
Only, I worked in a fairly crowded space, with 15 workstations buzzing and 3 to 5 other trainees solving their own mind-boggling problems, and muttering all together. No way to concentrate. I took a small risk and forgot to unplug my mp3 one morning.
Noise isolation good enough to concentrate, but I could still hear if someone wanted to talk to me. No objection from the trainees, and no objection from the boss. Safe

For most of 10 weeks, I listened to Lacuna Coil 8 to 10 hours a day.

I received my iPod to replace my somewhat limited player just at the end of the internship.

I stopped almost immediately after the end of the internship, on my way to "Bristol, UK". Each time I tried to listen to it again, it just would bring me to tears, so I didn't push in that direction. Oh, I also discovered new groups while I was over there, Symphony X, Nightwish, Rhapsody.... All of these being a bit (or a hole lot) more extreme than Lacuna Coil. Well, that was the end of the Lacuna Coil period.

Back in France, I bought earplugs that cut outside noise almost completely (military heavy helicopters are reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally noisy).

Now, 2 1/2 years after I started listening to Lacuna Coil, it just sounds as good as it did. Only it's on the soft side, not on the hard side like it used to be.


Two sidenotes:

• I found the hole in the wall, took me 3 weeks, but I was congratulated by a professional on the tool for finding it. She was truely impressed by the neat way I managed it. And I still consider it one of my best achievements, LOL.
  
• I also had long hair at the time, to show my difference, just in case my player broke down