15 years ago

Me listening to the album V (five, not vee, I'm told) from Symphony X with one of my 4 headphone sets.
I've got my iPod earbuds, pretty dead with a slight electronic noise in the right earbud. I've got my massive closed Sony headphones, nice but aging and with less bass than I'd like. I've got my Shure E2c intraauricular earphones, the creme de la creme for under 100 euros, with noise-cancelling pads and a remarkable sound, and I've got those Philips ones that pass above my ears and behind the neck and with a reflective band wrapped around the neck thingy.
And these are the ones I was wearing until 5 minutes ago. They're uncomfortable, they don't mix well above and behind the ears with glasses. On my left ear. I've got no problem on my right ear, my glasses fit nicely in a groove behind the ear, and the headphones can be positioned easily on top.

Now that groove is totally artificial, man-made and 15 years old (hence the title).
It was no accident, it actually had been planned for the better part of the 10 earlier years.
I was born with a labioschisi (?)(une fente labiale in french, it sounds so much more civilised) and although it was mild and did not touch the palate. My first operation was performed when I was 6 months old, I think. Then I had a second one when I was 2 One of these, probably the second, was traumatic. I have no recollections, but I have had nightmares for years to come that involved hospitals and water with sugar. My mother told me she could only visit once a day in the afternoon, for a few hours. I was probably in hospital for a week, so I'm sure it was hell.
From then onwards, and until kids grow old enough to shut up, I was called names by "the others", probably a select few, but the number didn't make a difference. And what I had called the little mountain road with a parking lot on the middle grew with me. It didn't look that bad, I was actually a cute kid. With a scar and a nose that didn't look straight, but cute.

I had a third op on December 19th, 1990. My birthday was on December, 20th. Truly a fantastic gift. I ran between panic attacks and bursts of tears for days before we even checked in. Memories didn't resurface, but I suppose they weren't that deep. I managed to evade the anaesthesia for a long time before the mask was firmly pressed on my face and I drifted. My nose had slowly stopped growing and it needed some fresh material to restart. And the closest to the nose cartilage is... ear cartilage. So they made that little groove behind my right ear, sculpted that cartilage with laser and placed it on the tip of my nose. How many people can listen with their nose, huh?? Well, I almost can. Well, the staff was friendly, mom slept in a bed next to mine (was it a bed or a simple chair???) and I was offered one of my all time favourite gifts for my birthday. I couldn't eat anything solid of course, but mom still bought a couple of "tartes aux myrtilles" for the other kids in the service. So my cake turned out to be a pink and blue inflatable one with 10 candles on the top. Soooo sweet. I felt like s**t, but I can remember that one all too well, 15 years later. It got lost years later while we were moving from one house to another.
Well, my nose was better, I could use it to breathe, I could clean it (in all honesty, I still don't like doing it though, better sneeze than blow it clean but I'm never sick anyway) and it looked straighter. People of my size don't see anything usually, but kids look at me with questions in the eyes. There's no aggressivity behind their looks usually, just questions, I find it amusing and yes, sweet :p.

My surgeon from that time told me for my last check-up when I was 15 that I could have a last operation, purely for aesthetics when I reached my adult physiology. I haven't done it yet, but I might decide someday to have it done. I'll take the decision as an adult, knowing in what context I will do it, and what psychological impact it may have.

Well, in the end, I can still move the tip of my nose very slightly sideways and that groove behind my right ear reminds me everyday that I've got that little something different from everyone else :-)